Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Good v Bad

You know sometimes, you gotta learn to love what's good for you.
- Charlie Swan, from the movie New Moon

Who would have thought that New Moon would have got me to thinking so much. When Charlie said that to Bella, I realized how right he is. Girls notoriously go for the bad guys. Charlie, here, was trying to tell Bella that the bad guy (Edward) isn’t good for her, and she should learn to love Jacob (the good guy) as much as she loves Edward. While you can’t always change the way your heart feels, Charlie is on to something here. (Disclaimer: While I am “Team Jacob,” this does not influence my thoughts on Charlie’s statement.)

I’ve learned from my past mistakes that some guys are just like a drug. Somehow you get addicted to them, and the thought of being without them causes such pain and anxiety it gives you something like withdrawal symptoms. It turns you into a complete wreck when he’s gone…similar to how Bella reacts to Edward leaving her. Meanwhile, the good guy or the right guy has been there all along just waiting. Maybe we already knew them, and maybe we didn’t yet. We girls were just too wrapped up in our addiction to give other guys that might be better for us a chance. I don’t blame girls for being attached to the bad guy ‘cause I’ve been there. It’s not easy to just walk away ‘cause there’s some unknown force keeping you there. Even though I had realized that wasn’t the relationship I deserved, I felt stuck. I felt like I just needed to learn to adapt to his world (like Bella wants to become a vampire), and always hoped that things would change.

I have my own world, and I don’t want to completely change it for a guy. I don’t expect him to change his world either. I think that once you find the one you are meant to be with, you won’t want anything about the other person to change. I want to find the guy that makes me a better, happier person instead of one that causes me pain, forces me to change things about myself, and leaves me to fall apart. Therefore, I am taking Charlie’s advice, which sounds much like something my dad might tell me, to only love the guy that is good for me…as easy or difficult as it may be. No more bad guys for me.

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